domingo, 10 de julio de 2011

Settling Women...

I want you to stop for a second a think who is the man of your dreams. Now, take a second to consider that man you are with. If those two are alike, then let me tell you, you are one lucky chick!

I have thought for a while, and I have always made fun of the girls who describe the type of guy they like and when you meet their boyfriend is the total opposite. But lately I been thinking that that happens to most of us. And it is not like we just fall randomly in love because "you can't choose who you love", but more like the guy seems to twist and deform into the perfect opposite of who he was when the relationship was fresh. Clearly I'm not talking about physical appearance (although this also changes) but more about behavior. Guys start a relationship being perfect romantic patient versions of themselves and a couple months in evolve into who they really are. And women by that moment have fallen foolishly in love and have lost the power to leave because we love that guy who first appeared with a flower made out of paper and said the sweetest "I love you" you thought you'd ever hear. Women settle, men win.

And this is not meant as a rant about how much relationships suck, or how much men suck, or how women rule. No, is not that. I am not really sure of what this is; you can read it as you please.

The fact is this, women at a point in a relationship forego of their survival instinct because they entrust men to cover them, and this is when we settle. Take me for instance, I am a sucker for surprises; however, I seldom get one. And it shouldn't be because I haven't told him that; I shouldn't have. The same way I have to guess his thoughts, he should guess mine. Forget all that crap about men being unable to see double meaning messages; he should be able to read between the lines the same way we do. Some people say we are more evolved, and although I appreciate the compliment, men have more time on Earth than girls do (for a day or two); its darn time they figure it out! Everybody says women are complicated, and millions of jokes exist about how long we take to make a choice or get ready; thing is, if it is true that we are more complicated, just deal with it and figure out how your girl works and love her for ALL she is. God knows how much more crap we have to deal with because of men. But we just love and accept and move on. We settle for love (as cheesy as that may sound) and we accept all the quirks and we stay.

Nonetheless, this idea of settling bothers me. Why do we allow men to change, but we stay the same for them? If they are spoiled baby boys, we'll spoil them til they die. But if we like romance, we settle for the idea that romance dies after the first months, and deal with it. We beautify ourselves when we are going to see them, but we accept their sweaty face and even look at it as if it was the most amazing sculpture ever built.

And I am not saying this is the rule, I don't mean to generalize. We are all different. Some of us may actually love the sight of a sweaty guy, or the "cute" sprinkles all over the bathroom floor. There are things about men that prolly some girls consider disgusting or unbearable, but I enjoy. I am just trying to say that, we shouldn't settle; we shouldn't lose romance if we like it; we shouldn't forget about being surprised if that would make your day. And it's not saying that men have to become the hero of the newest chick flick out there, but more like saying: if you love us, get to know us.

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